


house rules of the kinomiya dojo

by cosmoscrow



Category: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade, Beyblade
Genre: Family Fluff, Friendship, Humor, im love them, super self-indulgent, teenagers being dumb teenagers, they are a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 19:44:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14600355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmoscrow/pseuds/cosmoscrow
Summary: Each house harbours its own rules, the Kinomiya Dojo is no exception. Except for the fact that the rules, besides the basics, weren’t there from the start and have been more or less a contribution.From everyone.





	house rules of the kinomiya dojo

**Author's Note:**

> listen,,,they're teenagers who do typical teenager stuff, so it's pretty much bound to be chaos at some point. idk what this is but i love those kids so here, just take it, thank you ahsjdgk
> 
> I do hope you enjoy reading it, though, haha!  
> Have fun and take care!  
> – Crow

Welcome to the Kinomiya Dojo!

 

_To everyone who enters this house and/or plan to stay for a good time, we advise you to carefully read the following house rules that come with residing within Party Central the Kinomiya Dojo. As you read, you automatically hereby agree to the rules and do your best to follow them – breaking the rules may come with varying degrees of punishment depending on which rule(s) has been broken ~~Hilary will come after y–~~ Otherwise, please do enjoy your stay and if you have any further questions, do so inquire to the residents._

 

**#1** : Under no circumstances should the footwear known as ‘ _heelys_ ’ ever cross over the threshold of this house; if you should search the reason for this rule, please refer to the Max-shaped plaster spot in the wall down the hall to the left of you, thank you.

**#2** : If you see a small tube of blue skin-safe paint lying around, we encourage you to drop it off to Kai directly, he might be already searching for it. ( _You’re welcome, buddy. – Tyson_ )

**#3** : Do **NOT** touch the mint-chocolate bars in the pantry – they are strictly off limits for anyone except one particular person, who is aware of this arrangement, and if you value your will to live, you’d be wise enough to not even _look_ at them. ( ~~ _Kai_~~ _smells fear – Max_ )

**#4** : If the shower drain happens to be clogged, fear not, you are allowed to throw blame at Ray first, his luscious locks come with a prize after all. ( _Really guys – Ray_ )

**#5** : The kitchen is open to anyone, be it to find food or cook it for themselves; we however ask for the leftovers to be stored neatly in the fridge in case others might be hungry too. Grocery contributions are happily accepted, just put them away in the correct pantry, we have everything labelled.

**#6** : _Do not touch the laptop_.

**#7** : Seriously, just don’t.

**#8** : When it comes to chores, we have a rotation roster; just add your name to the roster and when you leave, take it off so we won’t have anything overdue for someone who isn’t even present. ( _The Great Laundry Pile of Smellington 2k15 – Max_ )

**#9** : If you happen to find loose hair anywhere, refer back to Rule #4. ( _They’re high maintenance, alright?! – Ray_ )

**#10** : People Who Are Not Allowed Within 3ft Of The Kitchen: Daichi, Ian, anyone under 5ft basically – Bryan is an exception, he still has to replace two (2) pans.

**#11** : Spencer and Ray are the resident cooks – their meals are to be cherished, you will thank us.

**#12** : The wooden posts around the house are **NOT** to be used as scratching posts.

**#13** : When Tala is around, we heavily advise you to not touch all the skincare products in the bathroom – mostly because we don’t understand any of it and also because we actually really like being alive. ( _I encourage this rule especially – Tala_ )

**#14** : You will never see someone as dead inside as Kai during exam week.

**#15** : Ray likes to eat his entire weight in red bean buns; No, we do not know where it all goes, and Yes, we don’t actually want to know.

**#16** : We don’t have any strict limitations on swearing, but we encourage you to censor yourself as we sometimes have children present. If you happen to find Max swearing, you contact either Kai or Hilary **IMMEDIATELY**. ( _IT WAS ONE TIME, GET OVER IT – Max_ )

**#17** : Start a Disney-related song at your own risk, we also heavily advise against using people under 5ft as the replacement for Simba in Circle of Life. ( _Fuck you, Bryan. – Ian_ )

**#18** : Meme and Vine references are a regular occurrence, it’s okay to be confused. ( _Oh, not in my good christian home it’s not! – Tyson_ )

**#19** : We have regular strays coming by, thanks to a certain _someone_ continuously feeding them, therefore we have a jumbo bag of cat food in the kitchen to feed them outside – there are currently a total of four (4) cats visiting us every other night, they all have names and we love them all;

**#19.1** : Cheeseburger – the big, intimidating grey tomcat with yellow eyes, looks like some aged mafia boss with the works of the underworld right at his fingertips, always first to arrive and somewhat of a ladies man.

**#19.2** : Turtle – the tortoiseshell cat with green eyes, is in fact a cat, looks like she’d make puns if she’d be able to, very playful and absolutely oblivious to her own slightly terrifying strength.

**#19.3** : Malachi – the very fluffy, pitch-black siberian with light green eyes, has a white sock on his left front paw, a bit standoffish and very quiet, will growl at people who come too close, no touchy but likes company.

**#19.4** : Ares A. Tulip – the scruffy looking brown tabby with the yellow-greenish eyes, half of her right ear is missing, her tail looks a little crooked, a very feisty but healthy girl, has won many fights, lives for unnecessary conflict, we don’t know how her name ended up like this but the A stands for Asshole because she likes to dunk Malachi’s head into the waterbowl.

**#20** : While we are a stray-friendly house, racoons do not count as strays and should not be brought inside under any circumstances.

**#21** : BEAR CUBS AREN’T STRAYS EITHER AND SHOULD BE REPORTED TO WILDLIFE SERVICES **_IMMEDIATELY, DAICHI._**

**#22** : On weekdays 9pm is Sleepy Time, on weekends it’s 11pm – keep in mind that some have rather unpleasant nightmares, so do not feel alarmed when you hear people shift around in their rooms and leave them their privacy.

**#23** : We do not ask about the nightmares.

**#24** : However, we are a Family and we are here to support each other when needed – remember, you are never alone.

**#25** : You make a mess, you clean it up or I will break your wrists. – Tala ( _Are you still mad about Thursday – Kai_ )

~~**#26** : If any of you say ‘Hewwo’ unironically, we reserve the legal right to kill you immediately.~~ _(Then perish. – Max)_

 

* * *

 

With a steaming cup of tea in his hand, Ryu finished inspecting the ‘official’ house rules. It had gotten longer the last time he read it. The old man chuckled, raising the cup to his lips.

“The youngins these days…” he muttered fondly, before taking the first sip of his morning tea.

**Author's Note:**

> if yall wanna scream at me over beyblade, pls do on my beyblade side-blog, i'm asking for friends ajksdbjk  
> [bladengineer](https://bladengineer.tumblr.com)


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